#(think it's obvious I have bad taste in fictional men)

[keepittoyourshelf]

Since the algorithm on my various socials thinks I actually want to see a ton of people simping over Rhys and ACOTAR, let’s get down to the bones of why that algorithm is fucked beyond all comprehension, shall we?

I’ve never hidden the fact that I’m pro-Tamlin, not in the sense that I approve of what he did, but from the place that I believe he’s worthy of forgiveness in the same way any of the men that SJM otherwise glorifies in her work is worthy of it for any of their transgressions.

I shouldn’t have to do a paint by numbers thing here to make this obvious, but based on the actual text written by SJM in her own words, Tamlin has objectively done nothing better or worse than Rhysand has.

The big complaint is his temper, of course, and pro-Rhysies love to bullshit about how the red flags were all over book 1 and SJM is such a master at foreshadowing.

He locked Feyre in a house against her will to protect her, when she clearly didn’t want to be caged. How is that any worse than Rhysand…drugging her and making her give him lap dances, in order to protect her, when she clearly didn’t want to be dancing naked in front of strangers?

Go on. I’ll wait for your rationalization.

Rhysand’s whole shtick was that he’s only playing the villain to keep Velaris (and only Velaris) safe…those fucks in the Hewn City can eat a bag of dicks, right? But tell me again how Tamlin is the really bad one for enforcing a tithe because it’s unfair to those who can’t afford it (fair point). But Rhysand chooses to save the one city in his court that has zero problems. Let’s let those that might already be suffering from poverty get kidnapped and tortured by a psychopath. That’s probably better than a tithe, right?

And let’s not forget how Tamlin mocked Feyre and Rhys at the High Lords meeting. While funny, it was in poor taste. At least Rhysand didn’t publicly mock Tamlin. He had the decency to do it privately when he went out of his way to go to a deeply troubled man’s house and, in the midst of an obvious mental health crisis, not only had the gall to ask for resources from a man that has no resources because his own wife fucking destroyed them out of spite, but proceeds to rub in his triumph over a man that has nothing left. Nothing to see there, right?

Even if you could ignore all of that (and you’d have to be willfully fucking thick to do so, which a lot of these people are), I shall leave you with Tamlin’s role as a spy for Hybern. That’s obviously supposed to be a real shock because TaMliN BaD at this point, so why would anyone believe him? It’s not like he had a really good explanation like Rhys gave when he murdered literal children and innocents just to ensure Amarantha didn’t know how noble he actually was. Right? RIGHT?! And it’s not like anyone would have a harder time believing someone who had played evil and done actually evil things for the “greater good” (a collectivist dog whistle if there ever was one) for fifty fucking years over the dude that suddenly goes bad after being a progressive and respected high lord for the same period of time? I mean, it’s not like we’re dealing with severe mental anguish and trauma here. That’s crazy talk.

Shadow Daddy does no wrong. Even when he does. Because reasons.

Those idiots on TikTok making stupid videos showing their bf’s being all shocked and I KNEW IT when Tamlin “turns” can chew glass along with all those dipshits selling mugs that say “Tamlin’s Tears” on Etsy right next to merch glorifying a man that literally gaslit his soulmate into believing that forced drunken naked lap dances were actually a good thing, when you think about it.

SJM isn’t a master of foreshadowing. She’s a sloppy writer of moderately entertaining fiction that has a kink for glorifying severely unhealthy behaviors without the benefit of a trigger warning.

Fuck off if you think that’s all okay and think that anyone that says Tamlin isn’t any worse comparatively is the crazy one. Projection is a real disorder. Look it up. Right after you order your 543rd Rhysand candle.

[kaycode1999]

Hi, I hope you are doing well. 

I’d like to have a JJK matchup haha

Pronouns: they/them and she/her

Sexuality: Biromantic Asexual (but I prefer men)

Height: 150cm (I’m travel size, but I’m an athlete. I throw hands)

Visual info: I’m Southeast Asian with short straight black hair, somewhat pale skin, and black almond shaped eyes. I have a boyish appearance: flat chested, masculine mannerisms, and slim swimmer body. I rock a suit with sunglasses. Seriously I dressed like that for a presentation and got the best compliments. I don’t wear makeup, not because I’m poor but because don’t have time and I have sensitive skin. 

Personality: ISFJ, introverted but very affectionate/teasing with friends, been described as a cat (skittish around people I don’t know well but all over my favorite people), very professional but I laugh when I’m too nervous or struggle to tell a joke, a lot of profanity when I’m confident (example of something I actually said: I am dressed good. Therefore I have no fucks to give. I ignored his ass. I ignored his hair still recovering from his bad dye job when he tried to look like Yung Gravy last year. Just kidding I noticed and I still laugh at it.) 

Likes: I love feeling confident in masculine clothing but I don’t have the money :(. I like singing while doing chores. Sometimes I sing like I’m tipsy. I love krnb, Korean dream pop, sometimes Kpop for working out, Japanese city pop, Mitski, and wave to earth. I love science, mainly biology stuff (best place I went to with a friend was a natural science museum that had a live butterfly exhibit). As for food, I love seafood, meat, fruit, and coffee gelato. 

Hobbies: I’m a swimmer. I like to write (working on a short story for young adults and I like making essay on things I like). I like anime and manga obviously, mainly ones that are sad or psychological, sometimes romance. This taste also applies to the books I read. I’m a bookworm that loves depressing contemporary fiction and classics. I used to be in a dance class so now I know how to dance like an idol (poorly). 

Dislikes: Disrespect, people not taking me seriously, the obvious racism and homophobia, people who try to push their beliefs onto me, spicy food, obnoxiousness

My type: Glasses (๑^ω^๑)

Extra: I’ve never been in a relationship before, but if I were dating someone I’d be very committed. I would make them food and wrap them in a fluffy blanket as we sleep or cuddle. I know ASL and Vietnamese so I’d like to teach my partner if they want to learn, especially Vietnamese (it’s not my first language but it’s important to my culture). I’m a mess but I try to be organized. I’m pretty smart and often help my friends with work. I’m aiming to be in the medical field but if that fails I’m gonna be a writer. Because I’m interested in the medical field, I put health and happiness as the top priority for my partner, but I am likely to forget that for myself. And lastly, I often cry after getting yelled at. 

Thank you for reading this 

Hope you have a great life ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡

JJK

I match you with

Kento Nanami

He is also introverted

He is more so the type to just stand there and watch you sing while you’re doing chores and he has a fond smile on his face

Will never be disrespectful to you but maybe sometimes to Gojo because you know Gojo likes to mess with him

Demon Slayer/ Kimetsu No Yaiba

I match you with

Kyojuro Rengoku

Your introverted makes a nice balance to his extroverted nature

Will both join in on the singing while you’re both doing chores and stand there watching you with a big smile

Rengoku loves all food so he’s always down for whatever you want to eat

He doesn’t mind if you curse but he doesn’t do it at least not in front of other people

Combined

Both appreciate your affectionate and teasing side and love to see that you truly trust them

They both think it’s really adorable that you’re short

They both appreciate that you have some professionalism to you, but also find it funny and cute if you do a nervous laugh

They both would spoil you with whatever clothes you wanted

Both enjoy learning about all types of things along with you

Both are so supportive and enthusiastic of your hobbies and are your #1 cheerleaders

Both of them also dislike disrespect and are respectful

They both definitely enjoy being brought into your music taste

They both would love to learn ASL and Vietnamese not only because it’s important to you but because it helps them communicate with more people

They both make sure to have their home stocked with favorite foods and drinks

Being in the medical field would work well with both of their professions

They both really appreciate that you’re concerned about their health and happiness and just that you dote on them in general

However, they both make an effort to be as doting and caring as you are because you deserve someone who will put just as much effort and care into you as you do them

Sorry this took so long, I started my new job last week and unfortunately I caught a bad cold almost immediately so I haven’t felt the greatest🤦🏼‍♀️

I hope you enjoy though!

[olderthannetfic]

I've just read an article (in Gazeta Wyborcza) about a very popular series of books among young teens in my country, Poland, called "Rodzina Monet" (Family Monet). The author gained popularity while publishing on Wattpad lol. The article basically said that it's problematic because these books are read by young girls, even 10 years old, and it glorifies violence. Plus it just isn't well written - there were some fragments in the article and yeah it's not well written lmao. A woman in the comments said that her daughter is reading this book and asked if she should forbid it. Since no one answered her, I replied that I don't think forbidding the book is a good solution and suggested talking to her daughter about it, showing her the article and asking what she thinks about it. But I don't know anything more about that situation, for example how old the daughter is. I don't think I'd worry if my child were to read this book, I read trashy stuff too. But I started wondering if maybe there should be some control in such a case? The thing with the books from what I gathered (I haven't read them) is that they are about a 14yo girl, who suddenly lost her mother and grandmother, is sent away to US from Britain where she starts living with her 28yo (handsome) stepbrother and his 3 (also handsome) brothers. She lives in a beautiful villa since the stepbrother is super rich. He's also cold and distant and doesn't understand that she has issues with food (she has some kind of eating disorder). Some of the things he and his 3 brothers do can be described as domestic violence but they apologize, buy her expensive stuff and are all adult handsome men. Yeah it's a young adult fiction. The thing is that it's just not well written so none of the bad behaviours is commented upon.

--

Sounds like typical godawful id trash that people eat up. Making a rule against it will just make it more tantalizing.

It would be far more valuable to kick any worthless partners out of one's life and demonstrate not putting up with shit to a tween girl than to ban her from reading trashy books.

One could always try buying her something better, but IME, people who try that always do it wrong: they buy books that are better written, yes, but the vocabulary and sentence structure are a thousand times harder, there's zero iddy wish fulfillment, and the plot is something fucking depressing and supposedly edifying.

Readers can smell a tryhard "your taste is bad" gift a mile away.

I think it's also important when trying to find replacement trash to understand what the kink actually is. Why is it age gap? Well, have you seen 14-year-olds? They're awkward and covered in zits. Of course the protagonist is young like the readers and the hotties are older.

More importantly, why is it abusive? Absolute idiots will be like "Because society taught girls wah wah wah wah wah", but the actual reason is obvious if you've read trash romance for adults:

It's so the love interest(s) can be in the wrong.

The self inserty protagonist of this type of story has very little power. Not only is she usually younger, but she's poorer, a fish out of water in a new situation, etc. The way she gets power is by the love interest doing something absolutely horrible, realizing they have erred, and then groveling forever. Their guilt is an effective way to manipulate them. And yes, retail therapy is usually the next step from this particular trash classic all the way back to The Flame and the Flower.

You can try giving a teen girl a book about a teen girl action hero who is awesome and whose love interest likes her because of that... But if the reader doesn't feel awesome, she's still going to prefer a book about a loser with a destined, fated love or a misunderstood woobie whom other characters have to grovel to after not initially realizing she was special.

You can't fix self esteem by handing someone a book they don't identify with and telling them their id is wrong. And if self esteem does improve, that doesn't mean the lizard brain is going to switch trash fiction tastes anyway.

One can try leaving other fun books around, but that's about the most that could be helpful.

[goblins-riddles-or-frocks]

I'm the weirdo who has always been into either f/f or m/f, in fact since I have memory, for me to enjoy any media was to hyper fixate into any girl character, didn't matter if it was well written, a main character or just a side character, I always did that, and when I started getting into online fandoms (I'm oooold xD) I was both surprised and sad that apparently no one paid attention to them and in the old days, some people were just brutal when talking about any fictional girlie, and here I am watching the new gen spitting the same rhetoric (that female characters can't be interesting) just with a different flavor and wrapping :/

Yeah people are so quick to demonize or sideline female characters! And of course it isn’t just fandom at all; I’m thinking of the broader reactions to Skylar White in Breaking Bad, and rn Alicent Hightower in House of the Dragon. You’ll have these sensitively portrayed, complex and tragic women and all people can say is that they’re annoying bitches.

I tend to gravitate towards characters that fandoms hate, or that are narratively marginalized. I just get really protective of things like the “annoying girlfriend” trope. Like I immediately felt sooo protective of Misa in Death Note, and then a bit out of left field, perhaps, but also Harmony in BTVS when she’d reintroduced as Spike’s very ill treated girlfriend but it’s all played for laughs. They’re just treated so poorly and that really gets me.

I do want to stress though that I don’t mean to highlight m/f specifically as like particularly groundbreaking lol. Like it does take up most of the art that we have in the world. But again it’s about how people engage with the female characters and whether they’re able to care about them, and what standards they hold them to. Going back to fandom, it’s really so telling that the most popular m/f ships (obligatory Reylo mention) hinge so much on exaggerated and unexamined gender roles, and where it’s clear that the FMC is only incidental and what the fandom really cares about is the MMC.

It all comes back to the tendency to center men. And that’s really disappointing!

As is hopefully obvious by my blog content and fics, I do think that equating taste in fiction with irl morality is ridiculous. My favorite stories are about war criminals! But it’s also silly to act like actual biases and values don’t come through with how people talk about fiction and how they perceive it.

[lessnearthesun]

1-9 for our namesake Macaulay Twins 🫶🏻😚

My besties <3

1. Well I sure don’t like that Charles hits women. Let’s not do that. As for Camilla, I don’t dislike anything about her besides her taste in men. I could treat her better than Henry <3 As for what I do like, I like how fleshed out they are

2. My favorite canon thing about the twins is that story Camilla tells of them as babies playing with the tape measure. It’s cute to imagine

3. Again. The whole hitting women thing. 😐 Camilla again has no flaws and so there’s nothing canonical about her that I dislike. Her arc is sad but it makes sense.

4. I NEED to put Charles in Brideshead Revisited. That man is Sebastian Flyte. I want them meet. They’d either make out or hate one another and either way, it would be fun for me. As for Camilla, I’m not totally sure. Maybe Ninth House? I think Camilla would like saving her demon boyfriend from hell at Yale. Darlington is very Henry-like, so I think she’d vibe

5. For Charles, it’s innocent. For Camilla, it’s motion sickness

6. I am very outwardly aloof like Camilla and I’ve been called statue-esque before. As for Charles, I have the addict in me lmao.

7. I don’t interact with the fandom so idk 🤷‍♀️ I guess I like when people treat them as 3 dimensional characters and not cardboard cut outs

8. I HATE when they villainize Camilla. Yes, she’s not a saint and she’s a murderer, but that’s it. They’re ALL murderers. She’s not some mastermind femme fatale. As for Charles, I don’t like when people disregard what he did to Camilla. You can acknowledge that he’s a 3 dimensional character and find his thoughts/him as a character interesting without trying to act like he wasn’t an abuser. He’s my favorite character but he sucks!! You can like bad people in fiction because they’re not real, guys.

9. I could not be roommates with Charles for obvious reasons. Camilla and I would probably be fine together

[suffarustuffaru]

ram for the ask thing

YOO RAM :O i gotchu anon. and yes this is gonna be kind of long again bc i have a lot of thoughts (yes i wrote a whole essay on ram/roswaal alone).

Sexuality Headcanon: SHE SWINGS HOWEVER SHE LIKES.

A ship I have with said character: ramilia and ram x fred are so cute 🥺🥺🥺 ramilia has their moments in canon already and ram x fred have their canon sickfic side story akdndn (its cute!!! fred takes care of ram!!) and i love the like mix of emilia and fred’s sweet personalities with ram’s sharper one pfft. that and ram x fred would be so fucking funny when you factor in garfiel. like yeah garfiels ultimately a good kid and he’ll get over the fact that his childhood crush is now dating his older sister eventually. and he’ll be very happy for both of them and he trusts ram with his sister too!! BUT LIKE the hilarity of garf wailing in despair (metaphorical and literal) over their new relationship is gonna be so fucking good. ottos just there awkwardly patting garf on the back and going “hey its not so bad seeing your sibling get together with someone you potentially couldve been with” and garfs like N O O O O O. O O O. i just. the comedic potential of it all. ram gets otto and subaru to babysit garf while she goes on dates with fred.

also. ram x fred comes with the benefit of BOTH OF THEM GETTING OVER THEIR TERRIBLE TASTE IN MEN…. (roswaal and clind)

as for ramilia—can you imagine how unhinged and messy it would get if you factor in wrath if… the same person (natsuki subaru) trapped and betrayed them… and in the aftermath of ram killing him, emilia goes to kill her in retaliation for that. ram, the girl who despises subaru with her whole being but has depended on him to live bc he’s locked her up all alone in a dark room. emilia, the girl who’s grown to have stockholm syndrome for subaru and has been locked up in a complete white room bc of her father figure and subaru agreeing to do that to her. i just think wrath if ramilia would be so fucked up and im so curious about it….

A BROTP I have with said character: this one tends to be a little overlooked but like. ram and otto are great. and like in general ram CARES about more people than just roswaal okay. like she DOES give a shit i dont understand all those people who think she doesnt. like with otto she GOES OUT OF HER WAY to make him tea and bring it to his room when hes working. and then theres the fact that ram and fred and otto are the only ones who drink alcohol in the mansion (other than. roswaal.) but ram-fred-otto drinking buddies moment when…???? also ram and fred of course 1000% know otto and subaru are garf’s older brother figures now. theyre all in the garf protection squad.

also. of course. ram and rem’s complicated relationship with its ups and downs all the way from their backstory to (SPOILER IG??) them reuniting in arc 8…… good shit. i enjoy seeing them together.

A NOTP I have with said character: ram/roswaal for obvious reasons but i will explain in Depth. because okay they have potential in the sense that there is a time and a place to show toxic unhealthy relationships in fiction with nuance and complexity between both characters. like roswaal has So Much influence on who ram is and also they have all that history together. there is So Much to explore there. like its fascinating with how roswaal plays a role in the destruction of the oni village, and then roswaal brings rem and ram to his mansion and roswaal threatens rem's life in order to put ram into a contract to serve him iirc? and ram LOATHES him bc of all that until. until gluttony erases rem and now ram has no reason to hate roswaal as much. now shes got like an Increased Complex Obsession with him thats now significantly less hate-love. like it is a full on cycle of abuse (in a Romantic lense) from echidna to roswaal to ram complete with Significant Age Differences??? like this is ALL so fascinating. and it sure would be in line with rezero's self improvement themes if ram grew to move away from her roswaal obsession and learn that she deserves Way Better than him.........

EXCEPT. EXCEPT IM GONNA BE REAL. most of the time it really feels like ram and roswaal's relationship isnt taken as Seriously as it should??? or theres like just not as much weight to it EVEN THOUGH we see shit like. ram in season one of the anime bringing roswaal's clothes and his goddamn underwear to the baths so she can DRESS HIM??? like i know shes a maid but its like fucking creepy when roswaal practically raised her after he brought her and her sister home after standing by and letting their village get destroyed. like are we not gonna talk about that bc even Without knowing all the context i winced seeing that shit in the anime when i first watched it. and then theres ram's insert song in season two which IS beautiful ngl. it very wonderfully shows all of ram's affections for roswaal and the reasoning behind her burning the book of wisdom. BUT ITS LIKE.... with the way ram/ros are now that song makes ram/ros feel just a tad bit romanticized. and like logically, i know theyre not bc so many characters comment on how bad ros is and how ram shouldnt be so affectionate for him, AND ALSO HE LITERALLY PUNCHES A HOLE THROUGH HER TO KILL HER, etc etc but LIKE. ARE WE.... ARE WE NOT GONNA INTERVENE WITH THIS... ARE WE NOT GONNA ADDRESS THIS SOME MORE... RAM/ROS IN CANON FEELS LIKE WATCHING YOUR FRIEND BE STUCK IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP AND NO MATTER HOW HARD YOU TELL THEM THAT ITS BAD THEY JUST. DONT SEE IT. THEY WONT LEAVE :(((( like at this rate i have doubts on whether ram is gonna develop out of this shit. when will roswaal face more consequences than just being punched by everyone in the camp.

i am so sorry anon my rage flowed out just then lajsldfj but like im serious. like. and then theres all the people in this fandom that think that roswaal giving ram her mana treatment is sexual in nature. im so tired. LIKE YEAH thats what i thought too when i watched the damn anime. but it is NOT SEXUAL. GOD.... and the fact that its depicted in a way that vaguely makes it look sexual kills me inside. friendly reminder that she is SEVENTEEN/EIGHTEEN. EVEN IF YOU REMOVE ROSWAAL'S 400 YEARS OF BEING ALIVE HES STILL LIKE. WAY TOO FUCKING OLD FOR HER. ON TOP OF BEING A PIECE OF SHIT. LIKE IM NEVER GONNA FORGET ALL THE SHIT HE'S DONE. AND I AM TIRED, TAPPEI. T^TTTTTTTT i think i heard somewhere that tappei said that he doesnt intend to develop ram that much. which. idk how true that is but either way ram is more of a static character compared to say rem. and its like. tappei. she NEEDS development out of her relationship with roswaal in some way shape or form. we need closure for this. and I WILL punch tappei (metaphorical) if the closure isnt ram saying bye bye to roswaal's bitch ass in some way. (also quick disclaimer i do like stories with darker themes and exploring dark characters and relationships and showing their nuance While Condemning them. and its like yes roswaal is interesting. but ram/ros as of rn in the story feels very. glossed over. as ive said earlier hah)

anyway. my other ram notps are ram/subaru and ram/garf. the first one is bc i feel like its just. stale. bland. and also theyre more like siblings to me. ill make an exception for wrath if ramsuba though bc the TOXICITY and TRAGEDY of it all fascinates me…. and also ram/garf bc. yeah shes literally too old for him. and garf/mimi is SO MUCH BETTER GUYS…

A random headcanon: so like… we barely know shit about wrath if. like at all. but we do know iirc that ram and subaru disappear from the mathers mansion at the same or around the same time. and ram tried to kill him and then he managed to smash a rock on her head. and then when we see them like Later in wrath if, ram’s been locked up all alone, subaru is the only one who knows shes there, and subarus been gathering mana crystals all this time just to keep her alive. like???? how did ram and subaru go from point a to point b, you may ask???? HONESTLY i have no fucking clue but the two options i liked to go with are:

option 1. subaru ran away from the mansion out of fear and paranoia after smashing rams head with a rock. and then ram followed him in order to kill him.

option 2. subaru, still afraid and paranoid, smashes ram’s head with a rock in self-defense. and then he immediately feels absolutely terrible and decides to bring ram with him in an attempt to help (or “help”, depending on how you see it) her bc hes still too afraid to actually go back to the mansion.

ANYWAY i have a many thoughts on wrath if ramsuba. bc its like…. ram was growing a tiny bit fond of subaru in arc 2, u know? and then from her pov subaru goes and KILLS HER SISTER…. meanwhile subarus been betrayed and rams trying to kill him and then subarus punished for trying to defend himself. and then subaru takes it too far and becomes purge king and kills a ton of people while imprisoning ram and emilia. wrath if drives me insane man. rams been locked up and subaru being the only one that knows shes there, along with the fact that ram and subaru disappear from the mansion at the same time, imply that ramsubas had a lot of time in private with just each other. subaru depends on her bc shes in color. rams life hangs in his hands. ram went from being trapped with roswaal to being trapped with subaru. its a whole MESS. i am fascinated.

General Opinion over said character: RAM IS GREAT AND ALL THOSE PEOPLE WHO SAY SHE DOESNT GIVE A SHIT ABOUT ANYONE ARE SO SO WRONG. I LOVE HOW SHE IS AN ASS (I SAY THIS AFFECTIONATELY) BUT ALSO SHE CAN BE SO KIND AND SOFT, ACTUALLY. she also is so fucking funny i adore her. her insert song is so so beautiful like GENUINELY like her voice and then the lyrics are so wonderful ;-;;; BUT ITS ALL WASTED ON ROSWAAL…… GRRR…. anyway she is an absolute queen in my eyes. i love her so much. i hope she gets away from roswaal fr. she deserves everything ;-;;;;;; i still havent read all her side stories but i gotta!!! esp the ones on her backstory!!!!!!! and i would love to explore her and roswaal’s relationship in a fic someday bc it is So Interesting to me….. and i NEED closure on those damn plot points….

OK ALSO ADDITIONALLY several several months ago i bought a blind bag rezero keychain irl and GOT RAM so like she is proudly going on all my adventures with me. ram my beloved.

here she is

and also. i cant fully articulate all my feelings on how her backstory has shaped her (and i want to make sure i am AN EXPERT on her backstory first akdndn) but like it is very very interesting. and she IS a strong person in fact!!!!!!

[darkfictionjude]

Etymology nonnie here!

1) About 70s fashion: It has good things, of course (and I must admit I completely ignored female fashion because my mind is filled by hot men), all decades have. But I'm someone who will always choose the first half of the 20th century when it comes to fashion. Sorry.

And I do remember the crop tops and slutty shorts men wore at the time. So it's not like I'm immune to the 70s charms. Yet, if I have to say what decade of the 20th century has the worst fashion, I'll still pick the 70s. And say the best fashion is arguably late 1930s, late 1940s or early 1950s. But that's just me.

Yet, I must also speak about the architecture and interior design of the 70s. Is awful. It may be colorful and bright. But it's an acquired taste. And would you really choose anything built on the 70s over Art deco arquitecture? Yeah, I thought so.

2) About sex: Who says sex is irrelevant, dear Jude? I'm all for fictional sex. The thing is, both the Mafia and Hayes coded Hollywood have a level of restrained lust, secret desires and profound yet in denial homoeroticism. It's more of a matter of what flavour you prefer. And as submissive as I can be, and as alluring as Boss who can take my life or reward me as he wishes may be, I'm significantly more seduced by the idea of being forced into a world of hypocrisy, where I can be an active player, a star with my own shine, even if I have a significant part of who I am lost in the shadows. A word that shines like gold, yet hides what truly is going on. A world that is at once desirable and terrying, where there is always a real chance to simply retire and live in the glory, yet the temptation to stay is ever present. A word of appearances, of masks, of beauty, virtue and sin.

It's just so erotic. Even if there wasn't sex involved, it would be so erotic.

3) About superhero IFs. Did the nonnie mean the IF where one of the RO's cucks the MC? I understand the outrage, even though it was an interesting thing to try and it is really obvious is going to happen. But that IF has multiple other flaws stacking over that problem, the cuck situation is just more evident. I think it's made worse because that specific RO is like the most attractive female RO the game offers. Had I been straight or bisexual I would have considered only her as a romance choice. Although, that game didn't have very interesting RO's in my opinion, since most of the interesting characterizations and dynamics went to non romanceable characters. It saddens me the bad reputation that IF has, given that, if I'm correct about what IF the nonnie was referring to, the author is a fellow Latino.

Also, I understand the need to do something because someone said you couldn't do it. But just due to the decade you wanted to set the IF you would have multiple differences with all of the superhero IFs that I know of. Since most are set in modern times. Often, in regards to time frame, what makes them interesting is that they are an example of alternate history. Like Fallen Hero (God has forsaken me and made me, even if he is non existant, into the fan who brings up Fallen Hero in every conversation).

The thing is, superhero stories do offer a lot of variety. From the themes, the conflicts, the way the powers are relevant to the story or not (for example Unsupervised allows such a variety of powers they are not as central to the narrative as Fallen Hero, in which the story does not work if Sidestep had another variation of super powers).

4) Apologies to Selfie again. I do also think you are cool still. And support you being horny publicly. I'll never be as brave (this is not a backhanded compliment, yet I'm aware it could be understood as such, hence this explanatory parenthesis). I'm too fond of playing around identity, I guess. And anonimity provides something exciting. Weirdly erotic, if you will. A mask. I'm a gray being in the minds of others, a non presence who is also present. It's natural for me to identify more with an actor than to with a mafia member. Even if both include lies, acting and secrets.

5) War can be won, fellow nonnies! I believe in our cause! I may have lost the options I wanted the most, but I will not die on the embarrassment of defeat! No. Yet, I depend on you. May you be the strength I cannot give anymore, and let my spirit fill you with my support. Believe in my smile, my fraternal embrace, the gleeful light in my eyes. Believe on our cause, fellow nonnies! We can win this round!

Ok I do like art deco buttttt I also love sleazy 70s mafia aesthetic the leopard print, the abundance of gold and the smell of cigars

Yeah I heard of that IF it’s always a source of contention on the forums and Reddit 😭

Yeah I think that’s one of the interesting things about the superhero IF it’s not in modern day, it’s 50s Americana

Maybe you can finally get selfie to see the light! They are refusing to leave the cave and prefer to look upon the wall (Plato reference)

I love this IF war going on it invigorates me 😌

[marshmallowprotection]

so I've had a thought knocking around in my head for a while. i know the twins are past the age where they'd get the most growth BUT i looked up if boys can still grow when they're a little older and the short answer is: unlikely, but possible. anyway, i keep thinking about ge saeran growing just a tiiiiiiny bit and ending up as tall as or even a cm taller than saeyoung. i want saeran to tease him and saeyoung to go full overdramatic drama queen whining and pouting like he's a tragic shakespearian hero (he's just being silly)

I don't think it's out of the realm of possibility for them. As you said, it's not something that's likely but it's not completely improbable. It could happen. Saeran has always been shorter than his brother due to malnutrition. No matter how much Saeyoung tried to take care of his brother by giving him the most food and care, it just wasn't ever going to be enough to give him what he needed.

Saeyoung had the luck of being able to leave the house. He could get sunshine, extra food, and fresh air. Sure, his growth was stunted just like Saeran's, but he had a little leverage on his twin. Even if he did a lot to help Saeran's health, Saeyoung was only a kid, and as hard as it is to hear, he couldn't ensure Saeran's health every day. Saeran had to stay inside, lose out on fresh air and sunlight, and struggle with little to no nutrients.

There is a reason why GE Saeran mentions that he hates the taste of white bread. It was one of the few things he could eat every day and now it makes him feel nauseated.

Hell, I'm surprised the twins are as tall as they are. I tend to shake it off as the logic of a fictional otome setting where they want many of the characters to be taller than what they just assume is the average height of the players.

I mean, I look over at Fullmetal Alchemist and think about how Edward's growth was stunted and ultimately played a role in his health and height. Ed did get a growth spurt near the end of the series where he grew from 4'11" to 5'6". But, the difference with his story comes down to his automail. It weighed his body down for a long time... on top of the fact his body was keeping Al's alive at the portal of truth...

I think the average height around the world is 5'9" for cis men, but for South Korea specifically, I think it's 5'7"? So, that means Saeran and Saeyoung are taller than the average statistic. Their father is tall from what we're shown, but we have no point of reference for Mother Choi and her height on top of their stunted growth.

The twins do have poor health because Rika thought Saeyoung was a lot younger than he was when they met for the first time. That's just a reflection of the obvious. The boys are smaller than people their age for years. I've thought about this a lot, though. I think about this sort of thing a lot but the game doesn't really want me to.

I digress. I do think that it'd be hilarious for Saeyoung to wake up one morning and look at Saeran and pause, "Wait a minute. My baby twin is taller than me! Oh, no! Whatever will I do! How can I protect him if I have to make him slouch behind me to avoid a villain?! MC! Help me out here! What do I do? I can't make Saeran hurt his back when I have to protect him from a bad guy!"

[slickshoesareyoucrazy]

The Fictional Men We Crush On

This actually isn't a post about the men I make up or the fictional characters that remind me of J. I've written plenty of shit about that before. It's clear I have a 'type.' (Tall, quiet nerd. Bonus if he wears glasses. Double bonus if he's got dominant traits. For the maybe 2 of you who didn't already know that, and/or forgot, and/or don't find it painfully obvious). We all know I love Egon Spengler and Chris Stevens and Dwayne Wayne and George Bailey and Ned the Piemaker. Like...there it is.

And it's not a Celebrity Hit List post either (everybody probably also knows I have a monster crush on Ben Folds and Hozier because I mean...tall quiet nerds who PLAY INSTRUMENTS with gorgeous hands and sing about love and at least sometimes wear glasses...like it's kinda not fair if you wanna be real about shit here). There are fictional characters I dig a lot but don't particularly care for the actors who play them at all (lookin' at you Andy Dwyer from Parks and Rec). And vice versa (I hear that kid who played Joffrey in Game of Thrones is actually a sweetie pie and a half).

This is a half-silly (but half-not silly) post about how the fictional men my man-loving friends crush on should clue me in on who THEY (my man-loving friends) are. Because as I sit here on the exercise bike counting minutes until I can get off and go back to housework that's less sweaty, I'm thinking about who the man-lovers in my life like or have liked. A lot of them like Gomez Addams. And Captain Von Trapp from The Sound of Music. And Wayne from Letterkenny. And there's Team Michael versus Team Rafael for Jane the Virgin fans. And of course, Mr. Darcy. All good choices, I'd say, even though they aren't my choices. And I have a couple friends who are 'villain' girls who like Killmonger from Black Panther (I get it in that case; truly). I can be friends with a lot of people who don't share my tastes. In fact, I have an amateur, untested theory that men-loving people (and probably also women-and nonbinary-loving people) make easier friends with people who don't share exactly the same taste in attraction. All my best man-loving friends do not share my type, but they understand it. That's cool. I understand why most of my friends like most of the people they like (any gender; fictional and non-fictional). But I guess I got to thinking about one person who was recently in my life because Pretty in Pink by The Psychedelic Furs came up on my shuffle here on the bike and how her taste in fictional men should have been a tip off to me that she wasn't really my kinda person.

Let me explain that a bit (or try at least). This woman said she'd always had a crush on Steph, the James Spader character in John Hughes' classic 80s film, Pretty in Pink. James Spader is probably an alright guy in real life (I don't know though), and I have some submissive friends who liked him in Secretary (I've still never seen it), and he's certainly a handsome man (or he can be one and was one in the 80s). But dude, that character is a first class piece of shit. An arrogant, elitist, sexist douchebag by any measure. He is the villain of the piece and he doesn't have a righteous cause or a tragic past like Killmonger; he's just a shitbag. I mean, my favorite line in the film, delivered with quiet but cutting ire by Andrew McCarthy's dreamy but unfortunately named hero character, Blaine is, "She thinks you're shit. And deep down, you know she's right." She went on to swoon over and defend a lot of other seriously flawed and disturbing men, both real and imaginary to me throughout the course of our interactions (I can't call it a friendship anymore)...Spike from Buffy the Vampire Slayer (rapist; at least he had some redeemable traits sometimes but still...I liked Giles and Wesley and Oz; I guess I'm just not a vampire girl), Viggo Mortenson's Walker from the film A Walk on the Moon (he's not really a bad guy, but he tries to break up a marriage and family where the husband is a definitive GOOD guy...Liev Schreiber, another one of my swoony celebs because he reminds me of J and wow his character was the dreamy one for me in that movie), musicians with well established histories of abusing women and/or anti-Semitism. She just went to bat pretty regularly for people, both real and not real, who were at least unjustifiable in the bad shit they did, if not wholly irredeemable. And looking back, it's not surprising she did, because I think those are characters she might see herself in.

Anyway, if you're reading this and you're like, 'But I like this one villain in this one show...' and it turns out that character has this giant growth arc (Petra in Jane the Virgin; Nathaniel in Crazy Ex Girlfriend; I'm sure there are countless other examples), or really you just like the actor (Adam Driver, Jamie Dornan, and on and on and on...), that's not the same as waxing poetic about fucking Steph from Pretty in Pink. And if you ALSO like heroes sometimes? Even really imperfect or unconventional ones? Yeah. Egon Spengler, remember? They're not STEPH from Pretty in Pink. :-P

OK bike time and rant over. I'm probably gonna go watch Pretty in Pink while I finish housework now. (Blaine and Duckie forever. Steph can go kick rocks).

[infinitelycomplexpuzzles]

// one thing people who follow me probably notice is that my autism hates inconsistencies in writing

I very much have a hyperfixation on storytelling and the process that you use for it

because storytelling isn't like painting, it's very precise and there are reasons for conventions that exist

for example, I am very much a believer that Chekov's gun is one of the most important rules of writing well. I believe internal consistency is more important than nearly anything else. And I believe this, because writing is the only form of creation where the creator has total control over how the consumer understands things.

In visual mediums, you don't have that. An actor can turn your villain into a hero simply because they're hot, see Loki in Marvel. A drawing of a character can entirely change how they are perceived, because visuals are a facet of how we understand things.

But in writing, a reader cannot know anything that you do not tell them. Their window to the world is entirely controlled by you, the writer.

A character who is vicious and mean and spiteful can be described as such, and the reader will have no reason to think otherwise, because their mental picture is entirely painted by you. There are no accidental elements added to it. There's no 'oh the actor interpreted this scene this way, the viewer took something else away from it, ect.'

For example, there are lots of people who interpret the protagonists of Fight Club, Mad Men, and Breaking Bad as aspirational figures. In the case of Fight Club, you would never take that away from the book, because there's no way for a reader to take away anything about these characters or their interactions beyond what they can see through the writer's eyes.

But beyond this, writing conventions exist for a reason.

A long time ago, I did a couple of years in film school. A waste, honestly, lots of debt from that. But, at the time, one thing I saw a lot was that people wanted to make pulp fiction but none of them understood why the director was able to make the movie without using the three act structure. It's because the director wrote the book on how to use the three act structure. Meaning that he understood better than anyone how to break the rules without destroying his story.

I think that now, there are probably other movies that have replaced Pulp Fiction in the 'non-linear narrative' movie slot that young people all think they can do without understanding how it actually works. You cannot simply replicate a thing without knowing why it is the way it is.

Here's an analogy that fits. My landlord worked as a fabricator for heavy machinery. While constructing such a machine for a client in China, something broke, and they couldn't simply take it apart or remake it. So they improvised and shipped it out. Later, they began to get questions on how to fix this part that was improvised, because the Chinese company that bought their machine had copied it without realizing that they had messed up, and so when they recast it, they recast it with the error included.

That's what it's like when people try to circumvent storytelling conventions without knowing why they exist or why people have used them for so many centuries.

Writers who have been doing it forever aren't perfect writers. But before you can improve upon what they've done, or innovate, you have to actually understand what they're doing and why.

Otherwise, you're doing the storytelling equivalent of adding salt instead of sugar to the cookies because you think that the only reason people are using sugar is because no one has ever considered using salt before in the history of baking.

'What makes writing good' is up to personal tastes a lot of time.

'What makes writing bad' is usually not, because it's often blatantly obvious when writing is bad in a way that it isn't in a lot of other mediums.

[nappainanotherdimension]

☹ !

{For every ☹ I get I will show a sample of a muse I used to play but don’t anymore. Or send a ☻ for a muse I would like to play, but haven’t yet! || Open and Accepting!}

*cue another theme for this former muse o’ mine!* 

Things were pretty dull lately for the God of Metal. No worthy dark ones to fight around these parts. They all were migratin’ away, heh, runnin’ away more like! It’s a shame the weaker ones scampered off. Coulda used their souls to increase his own power. Every little bit helps him get closer to his ultimate goal of overpowering his master, Lord Ozum. 

Rumor has it there was a nasty Night Warrior coming this way. Yet here was Lord Raptor, laying around in his human façade waiting for this threat to come. “Bloody fools.” The Aussie rocker muttered to himself. “I’d recon if they’re really that strong, all the more reason to stick around and fight! I bet their soul’s both powerful and tasty!”

Sitting up with a light groan he continued speaking to himself out of boredom. “Been an awful long time since I’ve had a real challenge, and I’ve done my part terrorizin’ the locals. Doin’ my best not to take all their souls. Leavin’ just ‘nough behind to get the word out of a powerful darkstalker lurkin’ ‘ere.” 

There’s another town up ahead. Tiny, with lots of innocent people runnin’ round. The souls of the wicked were much more delectable, but if this’d bring the highly anticipated Night Warrior to him sooner…

Conjuring up his electric guitar, the zombie transformed into his true self with the power he sacrificed a hundred of his own devoted fans – and his own mortal being – in order to gain. 

Boney fingers stroked the taught strings to cut the silence of the night with electrifying wails of his instrument that were loud enough to awaken the dead from their nearby graves. Literally. What kind of rock star went around on a killin’ spree without an entourage? He might be dead, but he still had a reputation to uphold! 

“Whaddya say we play another small gig before we hit it big, boys?” Raptor rhetorically asked his zombie troops. 

Before they could shamble along to his side or even moan out in agreement, a blur spun into sight, choppin’ and cuttin’ ‘em all down! RUDE! When this challenger landed gracefully a couple o’ meters away from him, they turned out to be a downright gorgeous undead sheela! Greetin’ him with a pretty lil’ smirk and a cheeky “Ni hou.” 

“Ni how are you doin’ love?” Raptor quipped as he eagerly posed himself for a scrap.

Looks like all the darkstalkers didn’t hightail it outta here after all! FANTASTIC! Maybe if he beats her, she’ll go on a date with ‘im! If not well…he could always add her soul to his own power. They’d be together forever then! 

How ROMANTIC!!! ♥

That’d make a good power ballad too, come to think of it.

A Former Muse: The Looney Goon of DoomLord Raptor from the Darkstalkers franchise

Man is Lord Raptor fun to write! As you can probably tell from how long this sample got. Wish I could have fit in some more puns and jargon jokes into there, but no point in overdoing it. This dude is both goofy and terrifying at the same time! That’s not always an easy thing to balance, but since comedy and horror are my favorites, I feel like I do a good job portraying him whenever I have the pleasure of doing so. 

When I first began to seriously play Darkstalkers, I was scared of him. He’s fast and twitches around like crazy, and if I wasn’t careful he’d beat me in a match. Didn’t even realize he was a zombie. Then one day I decided to play him and what’d ya know?  He’s a perfect fit for my play style! Learning he was a zombie made him even more awesome to me. The rest is history.

As I mentioned in the last ask, I also played him in that Wreck-it Ralph roleplay. Few people were playing true bad guys, and even though he wasn’t up to anything evil, he was exactly the type of person that people could love to hate as an antagonistic presence. 

I think it really shows how much I love this character. Even though I moved back into the DBZ and Tenchi fandom as my main focus and creative drive, still got a place in my heart for the Darkstalkers franchise, and this ghoul in particular. ♥ It also helps that currently Udon’s doing the Streetfighter vs Darkstalkers series which I’ve been keeping up with collecting by some miracle! (All the icons except the chibi one at the end came from that comic series.)

His English voice actor is one of my favorite voice actors, Scott McNeil aka, Ocean dub Piccolo and so many other characters. I just love it when my faves also get the same voice actor as other faves. 

Also the Lord Raptor Rap from the dopey American cartoon always puts a smile on my face. Always. 

[thesecrimsonstrings-if]

My type of fictional men are the ones written by women. Imagine my surprise when I saw that the WIP IF with the men of my dreams was written by a cis straight man 🚶🏾‍♀️ Even the female characters are so well-written and I’m just in awe, even if it’s the bare minimum for male authors. Are you free on Friday cause I’m free on Friday so we can go out if you’re free on Friday to get something to eat on Frid---

okay, so i get that this is a compliment (if i ever heard one) but since i've gotten a lot of asks like these, i wanna talk about this in a little more depth.

i agree that sometimes when cis straight men try to write about female characters, it just comes off clunky and plain misogynistic. but i can also say that about female authors who write about male characters with not much of a personality. the gender of the author doesn't really matter if they're just ignorant about the people they are writing about.

i don't mean to go off on you here because believe me, i've read a lot of stories where i've wondered if the male author had ever interacted with a woman before. but there are also many men writing strong female characters who aren't eye candies or damsels in distress or mary sues. i personally think it all comes down to the male gaze vs the female gaze. salem tovar has made a very good video on how both of those gazes can be harmful and you can check it out here.

young boys are often made fun of for liking genres like romance (trust me, i have firsthand experience for this) and their literature taste often just drifts off to more ‘acceptable’ ones. for example: horror, historical, science fiction, etc., just all things that the society consider to be ‘manly’ genres. female characters in these type of stories are... let's just say that they're not typically written very nicely, but this is the type of literature they grew up reading.

AFAB people typically write male characters who are desirable to their targetted audience because they actually meet all the standards that real men in their life could never even come close too. however, sometimes they write so many cringey men that it either makes me laugh or throw up in my mouth a little.

like, sarah j. maas? what is wrong with the men in your books? i can practically smell the testosterone leaking from the pages to the point that i thought you were a male author disguising yourself as a woman. rhysand tries to come off as a feminist so much that it ends up feeling like a hate crime against women. all the female characters are either incredibly weak like elain or a straight up bitch like nesta. aside from feyre, of course, perfect little feyre who can do no wrong. i have absolutely no idea why there are so many SJM fans who are ready to lay down their lives for this musty crusty dusty hormonal smut fantasy series.

now, let me stop before i go on a whole rant about this god-awful series and SJM in general which will be longer than azriel's ‘wingspan’.

anyways, it's obvious that men who have no idea how proper female characters are written, end up writing them in a way that make you wanna bash your head in with the book and that's completely understandable. i, myself, grew up surrounded by romance books because my mum didn't really give a shit about what genres i liked as long as i was happy reading them. of course, i didn't tell her about the smut books i had on my wattpad library when i was 12.

have we consumed years of literature written by men which depicts women through a sexist lens? yes. is romance a genre that is dominated by the AFAB authors? also yes. can women write female (and male and NB) characters just as badly? hell yes. it's really not a question about the author's gender but more about if they actually know about the characters they're writing about.

and while i understand why people don't usually like it when AMAB authors write romance novels, i dislike the sweeping generalisation of them all being very bad at writing the characters.

[haifengg]

Pairing: NanamixGN!Reader

Note: I think I got this ask quite a while ago but due to my hiatus it got postponed a million times. Now that I am slowly coming back and am publishing the bits and pieces I wrote during being away this A-Z is finally leaving my drafts as well.

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?) Given his S/O is a sorcerer as well I think he would limit PDA at work to a minimum. Even if they are officially together or even married. He just likes to separate work and home. Tho it doesn’t mean that he is not making small intimate gestures at work like randomly dropping in with coffee or - when they are on a mission - sending a text asking how they are doing.

At home he is pretty affectionate. Randomly pulling them in for a hug, giving small back rubs when they are doing the dishes after he cooked. This kind of thing.

B = Before (What were they like when they had a crush?) Distant. Nanami would probably be a person who maybe actually mistakes the feeling for some other emotion at first. Leaving him confused about why he thinks about them so much. The poor man would likely be irritated every time they are nice to him. Why the heck doesn’t his heart stop pounding? And why is he suddenly excited to go to work? Disappointed when he is not assigned the same mission as them? Or - if they aren’t a sorcerer - sad when a mission takes him away from wherever he met them for too long?

C = Confession (What was their confession like?) Well-planned and straight forward. Nanami was already observing them for a while before making a move. Although he doesn’t actually confess it is pretty obvious when he likes someone because it happens so rarely. Just imagine him asking someone out for dinner. That gives away so much - don’t you agree?

D = Date (What was the first official date they went on?) If we don’t count the dinner mentioned above … I guess it would be something like a gallery. Nanami would definitely want to test his s/o’s taste in art because it tells a lot about a person’s character. What kind of art they prefer (paintings, photography, sculptures, … ) and how they look at it as well.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?) Professionally. He would state the fact on why they aren’t compatible anymore and what made him draw this conclusion. I don’t think either one of them would cheat on the other mainly because Nanami wouldn’t get into a relationship with someone capable of doing that in the first place (I hope). He would sit down with his (not) s/o and talk it through. There might be tears on the other side but not on his. He thought about it a lot and made peace with his feelings before starting this conversation.

F = Fights (What would fights look like? What are things that upset them?) Kento barely looses his temper. And if he does I wouldn’t say that it is necessarily a bad thing. Getting him so worked up about something does only mean he cares. Fights would mostly be on the calmer/diplomatic side. He might be upset about something but there is no need for him to yell or anything. If the problem can be resolved just by talking about it - great! Why waste his precious energy on negative things, when he can use them elsewhere?

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?) We all know - and all those rough sm*t fan fictions can’t proof me wrong - that he probably is the most gentle character in entire JJK. He despises the violence of his job therefore he doesn’t want to inflict pain or anything on anyone on his good side. Especially his S/O. Nanami has the most gentle touch, fleeing kisses, he will hold them tight but never smother them.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?) As mentioned above: Tight and secure. Or soft. His S/O almost automatically buries their face in the crook of his neck because - who wouldn’t. Is there anything else I have to say about hugs by Nanami Kento? Yes. Am I able to put it into words? No. It’s just a very overwhelming feeling - that’s all.

I = Intimacy (What is their favorite form of intimacy? Do they have problems with it?) For him I think it would be things where they take care of him. While he shows his love through cooking and providing (which he takes a lot of pride from), he loves being taken care of as well. Maybe in departments he doesn’t know so much about. Like skincare. If his S/O teases him about his wrinkles and stern look he would gladly accept any advice in skincare from them, let them do their magic with face massages and serums. He doesn’t even care if it has any effect on his skin - he just loves the attention he gets and thrives on the feeling how much his S/O cares about him (and his skin apparently).

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?) This one I am really indecisive about. I can see him get more jealous that we would expect him too - which would be a nice surprise tbh. But also not jealous at all because he is confident. Kento knows what his S/O likes about him and he also knows what separates him from other men. What makes him special. I think the times he gets jealous are the days he doesn’t get to spent with his S/O because of work or a mission. Which rather results in being mad at Jujutsu Tech than jealous of someone else.

K = Kisses (Are they a good kisser? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?) Forehead. Kisses. It doesn’t matter what height there S/O is. It is one of the most protective gestures and he enjoys giving those as much as his S/O enjoys receiving them.

The back of the hand cheesy kisses. Because they are his everything, he wants to treat them like it. Nanami knows it’s cheesy but neither one of them thinks too much about it. When they sit across the table, fingers sloppily interlocked on the table top, he occasionally picks up their hand and places a soft kiss on the back of it. Almost absent-minded.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?) He is not very fond of them. Not saying that he won’t love and do everything for his own kids but other people’s kids are usually a nuisance for him. If they are loud or misbehaving he is really not having it. Though he would never lash out or raise his voice against them/their parents. ‘Children’ as in ‘his students’ … he always makes sure to treat them as children in a way he wants them safe/won’t put them in unnecessary danger.

M = Messages (How often do they text his S/O?) Kento strikes me as a kind of guy who doesn’t text often. Mostly because in his line of work sharing attention could easily be his downfall or worse. He will let his s/o know if he’s running late or occasionally ask if there is anything they need from the store or things like that but aside from practical messages he doesn’t text much.

Though if he is on a long mission and away from his s/o for quite a time span he usually rather calls them than text.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?) Nights as in ‘Nights Out’? Date nights? Well, he is a foodie so dinner is always a popular option. He takes the time to carefully research about the restaurant and the menu. If the rotate dishes, he will make sure they’re going at the exactly right season to get the best culinary experience possible.

Nanami is old fashioned. So he will hold the door for them, pull back the chair … helps them into their coat.

He also likes going to the movies. The intimacy of the dark theatre gives him the confidence to reach out for their hand or have his arm around their shoulder. Since he usually limits PDA in public this is exciting for him.

O = Opinion (Would they ask for their S/O’s opinion a lot? How important is it in terms of decisions?) Probably more than I would expect him too. Maybe not about the smaller things but decisions that involve the both of them he would definitely ask.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?) Due to the time he spends exposed to Gojo this man has the patience of a saint. Literally. He rarely snaps at his S/O.

Q = Quizzes (How does a bar trivia night teamed up with them look like?) Stressed. Yes, this man in very educated and cultured but imagine him sitting in a loud-ass bar, having to answer questions about the transformers or Megan Thee Stallion. Absolutely absurd. How old he must feel …

R = Remember (How much do they remember about their S/O or their relationship in general?) Not everything but a lot. He will remember little things they mentioned early on in the relationship and bring it up again later. He also uses this ability for presents and such. As well as in fights. If they think they can outtalk him with something you accusedly said or didn’t say some time ago - I suggest they surrender, because he will remember much better.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?) Very Protective. I mean yes, he knows that they can stand up for themselves but why should they have to do that if he is around? One of the big perks dating him is that he is who he is and that his presence confuses most people. So he might as well use it. Not so much in a physical way but rather in addressing the people bothering his S/O directly in the typical manner of his.

I think his understanding of being protected equals being taken care of which plays into the skincare thing I mentioned earlier. It is not so much physical procreation from danger but preserving a future together where one cares about the other deeply and only wants their best.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?) Medium effort. He prepares and researches but he rarely comes up with a new idea. He knows what he likes and his S/O probably does too. His work is so stressful and has close to no repetition so that he enjoys doing the same things on dates over and over. That does not mean it will get boring. Because Nanami sometimes thrives on going the extra mile. There is a restaurant across the country that he really wants to dine at? Buckle up - he is going on a vacation. Short trips or spa weekends are also things he appreciates.

Since he remembers dates and anniversaries well he is usually well prepared for those occasions. He puts a lot of thought into presents and barely ever gifts useless things. He does not like to have a lot of stuff laying around so what he gives to people usually serves a purpose.

U = Unique (What makes them unique as a S/O?) Literally everything I mentioned above. Namai Kento is a unique mix of all his traits. A very balanced person.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?) Well … he wears the same freaking suit everyday so … but yes I think cares about his looks and hygiene in general. As far as clothing goes he probably has one brand he is loyal too, which automatically sets his fashion style in stone as well. He has the same haircut for quite a while and sees no point in changing it.

Overall just the classic hetero dude who ones figured out what works for him and stuck with it. lol.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without their S/O? Yes. His S/O is the other side of him. Is what balances his inner peace. Without them he worries too much, stresses too much. He needs them to tell him it’s going to be okay.

X = X-Ray (How transparent are they?) Nanami doesn’t actually tells them everything but will disclose if they ask. He just doesn’t think they are interested in small details about him.

Y = Yuck (Everyone has flaws. What is theirs?) He. Doesn’t. Do. The. Dishes.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?) Kento never lets go of his S/O. Which can be annoying. And suffocating. Especially in summer. He is not clingy and they don’t fall asleep like this but in the morning he always spoons them or weirdly holds their hand. Sometimes toes interlocked lmao. Which makes them even more lonely when they are apart, because they got used to it way too quickly.

@kpopsnowball @soleilsuhh @jeonghanmoon @himitsu-luna

@sagedevans @shampoocifer @your-consulting-fangirl @gwynsapphire​

MASTERLIST

[livvyofthelake]

i’ve been doing such a terrible job selling the infernal devices i just know helena is watching me post like “damn she really expects me to read this flop trilogy??” so i am now going to write up a potentially very long post where i try to reason to myself in real time why i was wrong when i read it in middle school and it’s not as bad as i’m describing and if i reread it as an adult with better taste i would enjoy it immensely. ok. so first of all i don’t like steampunk shit i think it’s cringey in the same way panic at the disco is cringey. however my brain was probably just over saturated with cringe due to being 13 years old in 2014. if i read it now it would be post-cringe, camp even. secondly, i didn’t vibe with the love triangle stuff. i hate love triangles and it always seems incredibly and annoyingly obvious which one of them will be endgame. tessa and will are still no exception to this, it is painfully and annoyingly obvious in tid that they’re getting together in the end, as much as cassie tried to trick us with tessa and jem’s engagement. she didn’t trick me. HOWEVER. NOW i know that i was looking at it wrong. i was 13 what did you expect from me i literally was performatively obsessed with one direction back then. so NOW i understand that the whole appeal of tessa and will and jem is that they are three people who love each other equally and it’s not necessarily a choice between any of them as much as the eventual outcome was dictated by circumstance. technically in canon will and jem are just platonic besties but like if cassie can log on to HER tumblr and say “hey. they might be gay. who’s to say really” then i think i can log on to MY tumblr and call these men gay. and of course, will and tessa only married because jem had to become a silent brother, and then a hundred years later he stopped being a silent brother due to yk. jace accidentally blasting him with the heavenly fire that was consuming his body (it happens). and then immortal tessa and still alive jem got married. and she doesn’t love one of them more than the other. and sorry for spoiling the ending in my defense these books are nearing a decade old. my next point i don’t remember what number i’m on. when i first read these books i thought will was too mean and i thought jem was too boring. so i wasn’t into tessa interacting with either of them really. like. i was right, will was mean, and jem was boring, but like. will wasn’t as mean as he seemed, he was just a bit of a cunt. and jem wasn’t as boring as he seemed, he was just kind. i was a divergent fan ok kindness wasn’t exactly a trait i was used to seeing in my fictional dudes. but am now and i think jem has nice boy swag even. well ig he’s a man now but he still has that nice kindness swag!! and he’s my bestie kit’s dad! will does still serve annoying edward cullen-esque ya love interest energy but i think i just have to forgive and forget that considering cassie is Weird about her herondale men sometimes. idk something is just wrong with that woman! i forgive her tho. i’ve forgiven more for less. and finally. i did not care for the plot! however! who does? i already know the plot, if i reread it, i can just skip the dumb stuff. everybody wins! in conclusion, i think we were ALL haters when we were 13, and when i’m done with chain of iron i’m gonna give tessa and her boys another chance for the first time since literally 2014. i’m optimistic about it those guys are literally my buddy lucie’s parents… if nothing else they are my buddy lucie’s parents!!

[robininthelabyrinth]

This is a very vague plot but I would love to read an Emperor or very powerful WWX fic from you. I enjoy Boashan Sanren’s Emperor!WWX AU and I also love fics where WWX really is powerful and free to kick ass and just wreck shit. I really think your take on these tropes would be an interesting one and enjoyable read for all. Thank you for all the fics and your efforts in the fandom so far. Take care yourself. ☺️

fictional 18th century France in which the entire century is happening at once - part 2  

- for part 1 see: ao3 or tumblr -

Wei Wuxian came to Nie Huaisang for advice.

Well, technically, that’s not quite right, Nie Huaisang reflected. Wei Wuxian, when faced with a situation that exceeded even his formidable talents, reverted back to his old ways in times of severe crisis. Namely, he ran back to ask for advice from his adopted family – which by this point consisted only of Jiang Cheng, what with the majority of the Jiangs having perished in the infamous massacre. 

(The newspapers had dubbed it “le massacre des lotus”, a poetic way to elide the horrific mess of blood and death and despair that it had actually been.)

Naturally, Jiang Cheng didn’t have any idea what to do with the hot potato he’d been handed, and so he, and Wei Wuxian with him, came to Nie Huaisang, who always knew what to do. Who else did they have to ask?

Sure, Nie Huaisang supposed they could have gone to seek the advice of Lady Jin, formerly Jiang Yanli, Jiang Cheng’s older sister, but luckily Jiang Cheng was self-aware enough to know how much of a political disaster that would have been. Regardless of her personal merits, of which Nie Huaisang was certain there were many, the former young lady Jiang had married into the Jin family, a move that was widely viewed with suspicion. 

After all, the spectacle of yet another wealthy noble marrying another wealthy noble in exactly the sort of thing the Revolution and the abolition of noble privileges had been meant to stymie – and this particular marriage especially suspect given that everyone knew that the Jin family’s politics leaned heavily monarchist, having only just barely refrained from becoming émigrés themselves by the thought of the financial advantages they thought they could get following the fall of the Sun King.

For the Jins, the marriage had been a coup, giving them a claim to legitimacy in their new era; for the Jiangs, it was far from being the best move, politically speaking, no matter how much they swore that it was a love match.

It must have been, for the normally astute Jiangs to make such an unforced stumble.

The marriage itself was bad enough, but if Wei Wuxian, grand (if highly unorthodox) hero of the foreign wars, was seen consulting with the Jins, allowing them to influence him…well, it wouldn’t end up good for anyone, except maybe the ones who wanted to overthrow the Revolution and reestablish the rule of the Wen dynasty on the basis of the divine right of kings.

Apparently, chopping off the heads of the last set wasn’t enough to warn the rest of them off.

Fucking émigrés.

At any rate, that was how the whole mess had ended up in Nie Huaisang’s lap.

“I’m not sure what you’re looking at me to tell you,” Nie Huaisang said, idly fanning himself. That wasn’t exactly in fashion either – fans were very much seen as an affectation of the previous political order – but it was garnished with the appropriately patriotic rosette and anyway, everyone knew he liked fans, useless self-indulgent dandy that he was. Good only for throwing parties and keeping an active salon for his own entertainment, albeit one very in vogue and coincidentally very popular with all the famous revolutionary thinkers of their day.

Besides, no one in their right mind was going to claim that Nie Mingjue’s little brother wasn’t sufficiently revolutionary.

“Don’t pull your good-for-nothing stunt with me,” Jiang Cheng said, rolling his eyes at him. “I was there when it all started, remember?”

Jiang Cheng had lucked in to being there when it all started, since unlike many of the other people Nie Huaisang had so carefully invited to his salon, Jiang Cheng had been invited purely on the basis of being an old friend from school. That he’d become a hero of the Revolution instead of being imprisoned and executed after the massacre of his family by the increasingly paranoid and dictatorial Sun King was his own good fortune and hard work, naturally, but he wouldn’t have even known where to start if it hadn’t been for Nie Huaisang and his connections.

“I remember,” Nie Huaisang said. “I also recall that you and Wei Wuxian broke ties long ago, isn’t that right?”

Obviously that little façade had been entirely political.

It would have been awkward for Wei Wuxian, darling of the armies and terror of the continent, inventor of a brand new form of warfare and at least half a dozen new pieces of artillery, to be so closely tied to any one noble family, no matter their history together. It would have led to accusations that the Jiang family was seeking to take advantage of the Revolution to strengthen their own power, no matter how passionate a revolutionary Jiang Cheng was personally - the Jin sect had already started spreading rumors, casting allegations, implications, smears...

Their show of very publicly disowning each other had put an end to that.

“Don’t play dumb,” Jiang Cheng said impatiently, because he knew that Nie Huaisang knew that it was all bullshit, even if the newspapers Nie Huaisang bankrolled pretended to swallow the bait down whole. “Are you going to help us or not?”

“Of course I will,” Nie Huaisang said, rolling his eyes at him. “We’re friends. But because we’re friends, I’m going to tell you flat out that you already know what the choices ahead of you are and you know which one is the best move. What you want is for me provide you with any other options, and I’m not going to be able to do that.”

“This is just insane!” Wei Wuxian exclaimed. He was pacing around the room, face pale and cloak black, as looking dashing as always. Nie Huaisang wanted to get out his paints and force the man to pose for him and maybe a dozen or so of his closest artist friends; it would be stunning. “I can’t – why would they ask me? A few years ago, I was just an artillery captain! Son of a servant and a runaway novitiate!”

“The whole point of the Revolution was to favor merit, not birth,” Nie Huaisang reminded him. “And anyway, who cares that you were an artillery captain back then? You’re a general now. The Lion of Yiling.”

“The Menace of Yiling, the Fiend of the Burial Mounds, the Nightmare of Europe…” Jiang Cheng murmured, recounting some of the less polite versions. Nie Huaisang waved his fan at him – he wasn’t helping.

“Your brother is a general, too,” Wei Wuxian pointed out, a little desperately. 

It wouldn’t help him.

“Mm, he is. He’s also nobility of the sword - well, saber - from a line that has existed for generations, even if we did have rather ignoble origins,” Nie Huaisang said. He was not without sympathy for Wei Wuxian’s predicament, but really, some things were obvious. “We all know he’s the incorruptible and all that, but it’d be far too easy for the newspapers - and our enemies - to paint him as having done it all for his own selfish interests. There’s a reason he announced all the way back at the beginning of the wars that he wasn’t interested in political power when he was done, that he’d retired like a modern-day Cincinnatus. Who would have trusted him as commander-in-chief if he hadn’t?”

“Me,” Wei Wuxian grumbled. “Sane people, if they’re thinking straight! Your brother is incorruptible. He doesn’t even like war, even if he’s damn good at it. People should be chomping at the bit to get him to be the one – the one to – !”

“They are,” Nie Huaisang said dryly. “The innocent ones and the ones egged on by the Jin family both. They know the only way to tear down his influence is to get him to make a mistake.”

“And you won’t let him do that,” Jiang Cheng said knowingly.

Nie Huaisang snorted. What did Jiang Cheng know? “I didn’t need to say anything. He was offended on principle by the very thought of it.”

All three of them sighed in unison – Nie Huaisang a little long-suffering, Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian a bit dreamily.

It was a good thing Nie Huaisang had long ago accepted that every young man in France between the ages of twelve and thirty four, at minimum, was at least a little in love with his brother, or else he would have found it all far more aggravating than he did.

“To get back to the point,” Nie Huaisang said a moment later. “There’s simply nothing for it: you have to be the one to take it. No one else will suit half as well as you.”

“Why does someone have to take it at all?” Wei Wuxian demanded. “The principles of the Revolution -”

“Because we can’t function with these endless wars on our borders, as well as within them,” Nie Huaisang said, losing patience, and both Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian scowled, not wanting to accept the truth of what he was saying. “We need a stronger executive than we have right now, simply put. As for the form of that executive, well, the Revolution simply happened so fast that people are refusing to accept it without at least the trappings of the ancient regime - even if it’s not quite the same as the last time around. And as for why you, that’s because you can be trusted to shepherd it, to let it grow to the maturity it requires, and we will not fear you clinging to power when the time comes for it to return.”

Wei Wuxian scrubbed his face. “You trust me too much.”

“Not really,” Nie Huaisang said with a shrug. “You’re upright, moral, selfless…it helps that you’re exclusively interested in men, of course. No heirs means no dynasty.”

They both started spluttering.

“Oh, I’m sorry, had you not realized that yet?” Nie Huaisang barely bothered to hide his smirk behind his fan. “I thought it was obvious. You flirt with women for sport, not profit, and of course there’s your taste in pornography…”

“Back to the subject!” Wei Wuxian shouted, his normally shameless face flushing bright red. “Back to the subject!”

Nie Huaisang snapped his fan shut, making them both jump.

“All right,” he said. “Back to the subject: you have to become emperor, Wei Wuxian, or else someone else will, and they’ll be worse. I’m not saying that you’ll be good at it, or that you’ll enjoy it, or that it won’t end up with you exiled to some island in the middle of the ocean for thirteen years before making a miraculous return to save the country from itself –”

“Oddly specific.”

“Be quiet. What I’m saying is that you have to do it. The army supports you because you’re their darling, the people support you because of your victories in the war, the Jin and the other aristocrats support you because they think they can manipulate you through Jiang Yanli, the Lan and the other members of the Church…well, to be frank, most of them think that you’re a horrible blasphemer, which they think about all of us, but if you agree to let them crown you they’ll get over themselves and endorse you anyway. Even the foreign nations that we’re currently at war against would support your ascension to the position because the greed for power of a single man at least makes sense to them and accords with their understanding of history, as opposed to our Revolution, which is new and makes them afraid of what they might lose if it’s allowed to live. In short: it has to be you.”

Wei Wuxian sat down heavily on the couch. Jiang Cheng went over and put his hand on his shoulder.

After a few moments, he cleared his throat. “What about the rest of them?”

“The rest of them?”

“The other revolutionaries. What will they think? Your brother – he’s one of the most ardent proponents against the institution of the monarchy. How can he be happy with an empire?”

Nie Huaisang went and sat next to Wei Wuxian, pressing a nice pastry into his hand. “You went to the same classes I did, Wei Wuxian. You know that in ancient Rome, the position of Emperor - the imperator power - was originally established in the form of the ‘dictator’,” he said. “A magistrate granted absolute power in extraordinary times, for a limited time, for the purpose of rescuing the Republic.”

The most famous example of which was, of course, Cinncinatus, the man his brother was so often compared to. 

He thought Wei Wuxian would be a good example of that selflessness as well.

“I did attend class, and more often than you did,” Wei Wuxian said with an uncalled-for amount of snark. “And I remember very well that in ancient Rome, the institution of the position of Emperor meant the death of the Republic.”

“But not this time,” Nie Huaisang said confidently. “That’s what all our enemies will think, yes, but in truth you’ll be a dictator in the old-fashioned sense of the word: you’ll take the power, you’ll do the work, and then, when the Revolution has progressed enough to continue on its own, you’ll step down. My brother would support something like that. They all would.”

“But what if I don’t step down? What if the power goes to my head and I start to see myself as – as essential?”

“Three things,” Nie Huaisang said. “First, you’re an arrogant piece of work who already sees yourself as essential, and it hasn’t made you go crazy yet. Second, you’re fundamentally lazy and indolent at heart – take it from someone who knows – and while you’re very industrious if you think it’s your duty or the right thing to do, if given a chance to do the right thing by not doing work, you’d jump at the chance.”

Jiang Cheng looked as if he would protest the characterization, but Wei Wuxian nodded. He’d always loudly dreamed of retiring to the countryside to be a farmer or a mad scientist or something, and if Jiang Cheng had always thought he was joking then Nie Huaisang, at least, had not made that mistake. “And the third thing?”

“If you really do end up fucking it up, my brother will turn Baxia on you.”

Jiang Cheng choked, and Wei Wuxian snorted. 

“That’s oddly comforting, actually,” he said, and smiled. “Okay. Fine. You’re right – I’m the only one that can do it and do it right. And since that’s the case, I’ll accept: first the position of Consul, and then, as necessary, the position of Emperor. But you have to help me – you, your brother, Jiang Cheng…even Wen Qing. I insist on it; I won’t let her get executed just because of her name.”

“I can work with that, and really, no matter what the Jin say, I don’t think that’ll be a real issue. Having a daughter – well, cousin, but who’s counting – of the former dynasty working for you is a good move,” Nie Huaisang said. “Set her up with something that’s both important and yet non-political so people don’t feel threatened…revitalizing the hospitals and improving public health, maybe. She’d like that; didn’t she always want to be a doctor instead of a princess?”

“Anyone else I should make sure to add in?” Wei Wuxian asked. His eyes were avid and serious, which he rarely was in peacetime; Nie Huaisang looked forward to the day when he could be frivolous and light-hearted again. 

Still, it was good to see that he was committed.

“Jin Guangyao is the least objectionable of the Jin family, even if he is a belatedly recognized bastard,” Nie Huaisang said. “He’s more treacherous than a snake, but since we know that, we should be able to manage him appropriately. Put him in charge of the police and the spy network; he’ll do wonders with it.”

And probably end up assassinating his father, but in Nie Huaisang’s opinion that wouldn’t be that bad of a thing either. He resolved not to mention it to the others.

“Jin Zixuan isn’t objectionable,” Jiang Cheng put in.

“No, he’s very pretty,” Nie Huaisang agreed. “Your sister can hang him on her wall as artwork.”

“…he really doesn’t have many other talents, does he?”

“I’m given to understand that he spends money very well,” Nie Huaisang said dryly, and both men winced: as a dandy, Nie Huaisang had the most experience in such things. “You should also take Lan Wangji into your administration.”

“Lan Wangji?” Wei Wuxian’s face was a bit red. “Doesn’t he hate me?”

“After all the polemics he’s written in your favor, you still think he hates you? Just because of your little tussle back at school? Please get over yourself.”

“They’re in the Revolution’s favor, not mine…”

“Actually, no, he’s right,” Jiang Cheng said. “There are definitely some explicitly in your favor, and he wouldn’t do that by mistake - not with how eloquent a writer he is, even if he’s practically a mute in person. But...Nie Huaisang, what role would you put him in? He may be from a family that’s closely affiliated with the Church, but he’s not actually a priest himself – and anyway, if we were going to have to appoint an archbishop to help support us, I’d rather it went to someone like Xiao Xingchen. Everyone likes him.”

“And the fact that Xiao Xingchen is beholden to no one and interested in charitable works to the exclusion of all else is an extra bonus,” Wei Wuxian said, showing that he did, in fact, know some politics underneath his thick-skulled appearance. “But that’s a good point. What role did you have in mind for Lan Wangji?”

“I mean, ideally he’d be Empress,” Nie Huaisang said breezily, and enjoyed seeing Wei Wuxian’s face heat up and Jiang Cheng start spluttering again, “but since that’s at least ten years out, might I suggest appointing him as your chief of staff, and his brother as your foreign minister? That way you can keep Lan Wangji nice and close by, his aura of righteousness and habit of policing everyone around him will help stop the flow of corruption, and it’ll appear as though you’re using him as security against Lan Xichen – nice and distant and not at all corrupt, even as his writings continue to make the populace swoon over you. Jiang Cheng can continue to lead the navy, as he does now, and my brother the army; we can work out peacetime posts for them later on.”

“Hold up,” Wei Wuxian said. “Go back to why he’d be the Empress…? He doesn’t even like me!”

“That’s not the problem with that idea,” Jiang Cheng squawked. “Wei Wuxian..!”

Nie Huaisang went to pour drinks.

His work here was done.

[dailydaydreamings]

Best in the Worst Way, Part 12

Okay, warning on this one. It gets steamy at the end so 18+. Also, if anyone has read ACOSF and has a book hangover like me (and can’t get over the steaminess) lmk

The Reader has been having a love affair with two Avengers and gets caught in a sticky situation. She’s suddenly faced with life decisions she’s not prepared for, including who to love, what she wants, and is this all worth it?

You and Steve sat shoulder to shoulder in his hospital bed. Both of you had your arms crossed as you stared down the doctor in front of you. Doctor Beeton, who’d you never wanted to see again. Not because he was a bad doctor, but because Bucky couldn’t remember the last eighteen months.

The last five days had been tough. Bucky had gone through countless tests and it became clear his memory went blank the week before the three of you had slept together for the first time. Steve was doing a lot better, he’d even started walking around and was being discharged today. But you hadn’t seen Bucky since he woke up.

Doctor Beeton sat on a black stool, explaining, “All tests indicate that this should be acute. Bucky’s had a lot of head trauma, so we can’t predict how or if it will come back.”

You closed your eyes, leaning your head against the back of the bed. Bucky had enough memory problems without this. You often had to repeat the same thing over and over to him already. You remembered once, months ago, telling him four times you were going to see a movie with a friend. Steve had been on a mission. He’d called you in a panic when you weren’t at home.

You sign, leveling Doctor Beeton with a stare, “We’re about to have two babies. Twins. Is there anything you can do?”

Steve squeezed your thigh.

The doctor shook his head. “This is going to have to come back on its own. We’ve talked about this before,” he looked to Steve.

Who nodded solemnly, and explained to you, “We had tests run a while ago. Buck’s memory just isn’t the best because of all the wiping and head trauma in the past. It’s not getting worse, or it wasn’t, but he’s got all these blank spots. Like, the first three months after the blip or everything that happened when he was fifteen. And you’ve seen how he can be with some details.”

You nodded, sighing again. “Okay, so what do we do?”

“You go home, Bucky can be discharged today too,” the doctor explained. “Get back to a normal routine. It’ll help jog his memory.”

You and Steve exchanged a look, what the fuck was a normal routine?

———

“So, we lived here?” Bucky looked at Steve for confirmation. You hadn’t broke the news yet that you were a throuple, Buck thought he and Steve had gotten a place together off the compound. And you were just tagging along to make sure they were okay. Because you were just the Avengers secretary.

The place didn’t exactly look like two men lived here though. It had been yours before they had moved in. Bucky surveyed the entrance with a big round, gold accent mirror. And the pictures on the wall of your college girlfriends, your childhood pets, and the three of you.

You stood behind him as he entered the apartment, peering into the living room. With your vintage green velvet couches, marble tables with gold accents, vases full of plants and flowers. He peeked at the book shelf, every book on historical fiction, romance fantasy, or social theory. All yours. Neither of their tastes remotely.

He surveyed the small table you had, big enough for four. You scratched your head, would it fit two small children soon? It was dark wood with a bench pressed against one wall and two chairs on the other side. It had been the only way to fit it into the space. The walls were a coral sea pink accent wall and gold hanging lights. He walked into the kitchen, looking specifically at the pink flowers you had on the breakfast bar. “We didn’t actually live here, did we?” He asked Steve.

“You did,” you answer. You motion for him to walk to the table. He follows from the kitchen, awkwardly taking one of the chairs as you slide into the bench sighing with relief. Your legs felt ready to give out by this point. “You lived here with me.”

Steve slid into the bench beside you, taking your hand.

Bucky’s eyes fixated on your hands. You remembered that in his mind, it was eighteen months ago. And eighteen months ago, he and Steve had a pact not to sleep or date you because they both wanted you.

“So you two are a couple then?” Bucky asked coolly. “And I just slept in the spare room.”

“Not...exactly,” Steve looked to you for help.

“Buck,” you said, “just hear me out. A lot has changed...a week after what you remember, the Avengers had their annual fundraiser event.”

Bucky nodded, “I remember getting a suit for that.”

You nodded, you had booked this fitting. It had been two days before Bucky stopped remembering. “At the party, I got a little drunk and I asked the two of you to sleep with me. You had been drinking that strong stuff that Thor brings and we’re also pretty drunk. And you did.”

Bucky raised an eyebrow, “We had a threesome?”

Steve nodded.

Bucky’s face blanched. You remember that he was going through the same emotions as last time, realizing he had sex with his best friend in the world, and who he’d had a crush on since they were kids.

Bucky looked at Steve and asked, “And you were okay with this?”

Steve’s face twisted, “No, I wasn’t for a long time actually.”

You scratched the side of your head, “Steve struggles with being a little...closeted. He’s really not out to most people. But the three of us started hanging out and having sex with each other, regularly. And then you two moved in here. And I got pregnant. And here we are...” You trailed off. That was over simplifying it a bit.

Bucky’s eyebrows were touching his hairline. “What?” He breathed.

“The thee of us are a throuple, a relationship with three people,” Steve clarified. “Or as y/n called it, a super secret super solider threesome. Because no one knew about us.”

Bucky surveyed the two if you, leaning back in his chair uncertainly. “And now?”

You wrinkled your nose, “Everyone thinks I was sleeping with both of you separately. Because you two got into a big fight when I got pregnant. So everyone assumed it was over who the father is.”

Bucky’s eyes dropped to your belly, which was very obvious in your empire waisted, pink maxi dress. “Who is the father?”

You run your hand up and down your bump protectively, “We don’t know. You and I decided it wasn’t important.”

A terrible thought ran through your head, what if Bucky didn’t want the babies now?

He cocked his head to the side. “So what was the fight about?”

Steve cleared his throat, looking sheepishly down at his hands. “I walked out when y/n told us, and we got into a brawl. And then I asked her to get an abortion. And then I heard the heartbeats and I wanted her to leave you to be with me and have the babies. And then she told me it wasn’t going to happen. And then you and I got into a fight because I asked you to be with me. Without her.”

Your head snapped to the side, well you didn’t know about that. There would definitely be a conversation about that later. Bucky just raised an eyebrow.

“But,” Steve continued. “I’m back and I want to be part of this family. With both of you and our children.”

“Children?”

———

Bucky seemed to be taking the news rather well, in a way of not talking to either of you for the last four hours and staring at a wall way. But he hadn’t walked out yet.

He sat with his arms crossed over his chest, contemplating for most of the rest of the day. Occasionally, he looked over at asked a clarifying question. One of you would answer and he’d go back to his silent thought.

Neither you or Steve said a word to each other in fear of disturbing Bucky.

It was late when you heaved yourself to your feet, placing a hand under your bump, you finally addressed Bucky. “I’m going to get ready for bed. I just want to know where you’d like to sleep tonight.”

He finally blinked, looking up at you. No, not at you, but at your belly, “huh?”

“Do you want to sleep with us or there’s a pullout couch in the spareroom. It’s a nursery now, but...”

He swallowed hard, looking to where Steve was minding his own business, pretending to read a book. “Can I sleep on the pullout couch, please?”

You would under normal circumstances squeeze his shoulder at his uncertainty, but you remembered how much Bucky hated little affectionate gestures in your early relationship. “Of course, baby,” you said instead. He looked at yor quizzically and you realized you shouldn’t have used the pet name. Clearing your throat, you said, “Let me get that ready for you.”

“You shouldn’t—“ Bucky started, staring at your belly.

Steve stood, “I’ll help. It’s okay, relax.”

You rolled your eyes, “I can unfold a damn pullout couch.” Bucky’s eyes widened in surprise, it was probably the first time he’d ever heard you swear. You took a lelvelling breath before saying, “Steve, I’ll find the sheets and you get the couch, okay?”

He nodded in agreement.

You went to the hall closet, pausing to let Steve pass you in the narrow space. Closing your eyes, you could see it five years from now. Trying to walk down this hallway with a laundry basket while two five year olds being chased by Steve and Bucky with nerf guns barrelled the other way. Oh no, this place was definitely not going to be big enough for the five of you soon enough.

You entered your former office, now nursery. Bucky had painted the walls a gentle green. No furniture was in here yet, except your couch from when you were in college (soon to be tossed to the curb), the rocking chair you’d ordered last week, and a couple of unopened boxes of baby furniture.

“Sit,” Steve instructed, nodding towards the rocking chair.

You did as he asked, stroking your belly as you commented, “Just a friendly reminder you’re not supposed to be doing anything too strenuous either. You were just impaled.”

He rolled his eyes, pushing a box to the corner of the room. “I would hardly call moving these boxes strenuous.”

You rocked back and forth slowly, “So you asked Bucky to leave me?”

Steve paused, he propped his arm on a tall box and looked at you, “While we were on mission, and he gave me hell for it. I also decided I was done being scared and I would be there for both of you. And them.” He nodded at your belly.

You could easily start a fight about this. Instead, you nodded and said, “I think we need to move.”

Steve raised an eyebrow. “When we suggested moving in together, didn’t you say this place was a once and a lifetime investment? That it would pay for itself one day and you loved it too much to sell.”

You pursed your lips, this apartment was your first love. You bought. You fixed it up and decorated it. You’d literally sought exclusively jobs in this area to avoid ever having to move again. You had once thought this place was enough for you, and now it was feeling a little cramped.

The corners of Steve’s mouth twitched upwards. “You’re nesting. If we’re gonna move soon, let’s at least do it while the baby stuff is still in boxes, yes?”

You rolled your eyes, “Pull out the damn couch, Rogers.”

———

The following morning you sat at the breakfast bar, a beagle in hand, munching away happily.

“Okay, so we’re supposed to get back into some kind of routine,” Steve stood on the other side, leaning against your kitchen counter. “So, we typically started each day by going on a run.”

You looked over to Bucky, who quirked an eyebrow.

“You’re not running,” you clarified, knowing his unasked question. “You’re still under concussion protocol. So, you an I are going for a walk.”

Bucky straightened at that, “It’s really okay, I can just—”

“Not an option, soldier,” you stood. He gazed at you in your leggings, a tight compression shirt that made you look very pregnant, and a high pony. You’d have liked to go on a run too, albeit much shorter and slower. “This is our time to chat and you can ask me a million questions. And I can tell you embarrassing stories about Steve that you missed out on.”

“Hey!” Steve raised his hands in defence.

“You,” you pointed at him, “are also under orders to take it easy.”

“Yeah, hold on.” Bucky said, “Why aren’t you walking with us.”

Steve shrugged, “I’m a super solder who was stabbed in the gut, I heal fast. Your brain doesn’t. We don’t know how many concussions you’ve had, we’re not messing with concussions.”

The golden rule: don’t mess with concussions.

“Steve’s gonna run with Sam,” you interjected. Steve raised an eyebrow. “He’s outside. You’re to follow his pace for today.”

Steve rolled his eyes, pushing off the counter. It would inevitably be a very slow run for him, and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

“Alright, soldier,” you nudge his foot with yours. The closest you’d be getting to an affectionate gesture anytime soon you realized with a slight heart ache. “You’re not getting any younger.”

He laughed, standing to grab his shoes. “So, what’s next in the routine after a walk?”

Bucky, ever the gentleman, opened the door for you and let you walk down the stairs first. You knew he was keeping a close eye on you, even as you gripped the railing.

“We make breakfast,” you started, thinking of the list you and Steve had made last night. “Then we go to work. We used to take separate cars, when we were keeping this a secret, but now I guess we’ll drive in together? I mean, as long as you’re comfortable with that.”

Bucky blinked in surprise.

You opened to door to your building, the crisp morning greeting you. You started on your usual walk, trying to take on a brisk pace.

“I mean, doesn’t everyone already know?” Bucky asked.

You nodded, “Pretty much everyone. You and I have been acting like a couple ever since we found out about the babies.”

Bucky swallowed hard. You realized he hadn’t said a word about the babies yet.

“How are you feeling about everything?” You asked, trying to subtly steer the conversation in a direction where you could ask how he felt about the babies.

He shrugged. “I mean, this isn’t the first time I’ve woken up without a memory. I’ll adjust, untangle everything as we go.”

You nodded, “A lot has changed this time though...”

He glanced at you, and you made a pointed gesture at your belly.

Bucky ran his hands through his hair. “Okay, eighteen months ago I couldn’t image this. Eighteen months ago you were the hot secretary. In our last conversation, you told me you were craving an afternoon delight and were referring to coffee. But I still obsessed about it for the next two days, wondering if it was an invitation.”

You smirked, “It was.”

“The point is,” he took a deep breath, “we were all different people the. I would have done anything to sleep with you, let alone go on a date with you. Stev was the guy I’d loved forever and I was content to be his friend. I’ve always wanted to be a dad, but...I never thought it’d happen to me, and I was okay with that.”

You really wanted to take his hand, instead focusing on fiddling with your fingers to ease the ache of needing to feel him.

“What I’m hearing,” you said, “is that you’ve got everything you’ve ever wanted, and you don’t know how to handle it.”

He shot you an exasperated look, “I thought we were going to be talking about fun facts about our relationship.”

You took that as him wanting to change the conversation and launched into a story about Steve getting the three of you lost hiking.

When you got back to the apartment, you were a little more winded than you would have liked to admit and the stairs hadn’t helped. Your back ached and you desperately wanted to go lie down.

“Can I get you something?” Bucky asked.

“Water?” You asked, sliding into a seat.

You watched Bucky reach for a cup in a cupboard, without having to tell him which. He even grabbed your favourite cup. Everything would be okay.

———

The three of you settled into a new routine. You and Bucky went for walks together until he was cleared to run, first with Sam then with Steve.

You went to work for nine. They both walked you to your office and would come have lunch with you. At five, you’d leave together.

You’d come home, each of you taking turns to cook dinner. You’d typically end the night watching a show and be in bed early. Bucky would sleep in the spare room and you’d sleep with Steve.

Every other week you had an ultrasound and Bucky had an assessment.

You and Bucky had a secret habit though. Most night you woke up with the babies kicking wildly. You’d get up to avoid waking Steve and go sit and read in the living room. Bucky was typically waiting for you, up with a nightmare or just not able to sleep.

Most of the time you’d sit in silence. Sometimes Bucky would read off some headline from this phone or you’d recount something someone had said on your day.

There had been no change in Bucky’s memories but he seemed to be getting more comfortable with you and Steve. Life went on. There was nothing you could do about it, so you just went on.

Until Wednesday. A random Wednesday that you would remember for the rest of your life.

It didn’t start out so special. Your alarm went off and your cursed at Steve for setting it in the first place. Sleep was hard to come by and you were twenty six weeks pregnant and hating it already.

“You were the one who wanted a morning walk,” Steve rolled over, tracing your belly. He kissed his way up your neck and you swatted him away, feeling remarkably unsexy.

“Fuck off, you have to run,” you rolled over and placed your feet on the ground. Your back already ached and your head was throbbing. Today was not going to be a good day, you decided internally. You rolled your neck and got up to face the day.

Bucky was sitting in the kitchen when you got up. “Morning,” he grumbled over a cup of coffee.

You nodded in agreement, you’d both been up from two till three doing buzzfeed quizzes. According to buzzfeed, you should be dyeing your hair green. You were not considering it.

You poured yourself a cup of coffee and waddled to sit beside Bucky at the breakfast bar. Your back squeezed painfully as you sat and Bucky noticed.

He reached out a hand to steady you and help lower you to the chair. “You okay?”

You shrugged, “Pregnancy. My back just really hurts.” You propped your head on your hand and wiggled your eyebrows as you said flatly, “I booked myself a pregnancy massage for tomorrow though.”

Bucky propped his head on his head, mirror you as he said equally as flatly, “Wow.”

“Alright!” Steve clapped his hands together, booming as he came in the room. “Let’s get moving!”

You looked at Bucky, “I’m gonna castrate him.”

“Why!?” Steve asked.

You peered around Bucky and said, “Fifty percent less chance of pregnancy. That’s how I see. It’s almost effective strategy for birth control.”

Bucky frowned, “Thats really not how statistics works. If you have two fully fertile men hat you’re sleeping with at the same time, that wouldn’t decrease your odds by fifty percent. It would maybe be like twenty five or ten...”

You smirked, “So I’m sleeping with both of you now?”

Bucky blushed a deep shade of red.

You stood, leaning over to kiss his cheek as you went. He froze under your touch and you retracted it like you’d been burned, wholly unaware of the subconscious gesture. “Buck—” you started.

He cleared his throat, not making eye contact as he looked at Steve. “Let’s go.”

You spun to look at Steve, who eyed you with wide eyed uncertainty.

———

You couldn’t stop thinking about Bucky not talking to you, even as you sat in a meeting with your two maternity replacements. Jenna and Alicia. You hated them both. Two bland, corporate machines. You picked them because you figured they would follow instructions and wouldn’t care enough to actually get good at your job and start trying to make changes. Besides, there was too much to teach and too little time. You would give them each select tasks and they could figure out the rest.

“The one thing upon need to remember is that every call goes through five different people before it gets to you,” you shifted in easily. Your back was really aching. “Don’t waste your time with stupid questions. Get to the point, who are they. Who do they want to talk to and why. You each have a cheat sheet with how to direct calls and who is willing to talk to who?”

They peered down at the lengthy binder you’d made for them. You were beginning to think it wasn’t enough.

“Take five, ladies,” Tony called, entering your office.

They scurried off, afraid to even look at Tony. Yeah, this was going to go over really well.

You stood on uneasy legs as you came around to give Tony a hug, “Thank god you’re here. They bore me to tears.” Tony wrapped an arm around you and your back seized. You flinched, hard.

Tony pulled back, putting his hands on your shoulders, “Are you okay?”

You were nearly in tears but you nodded, “Yeah, the babies just kicked really hard.” You lied. He obviously didn’t buy it but he let you go sit in your chair. You sighed in almost instant relief.

“What can I do for you Tony?” You asked, spinning slightly as you stroked your belly.

“I came to talk about your maternity leave,” he started. You just rolled your eyes. This was becoming an old song and dance.

“I’ll work till I pop or the doc says I can’t.”

He pursed his lips, “I’m worried your going to run yourself thin and then something bad is going to happen.”

You waved him off, “Nothing is going to happen. I had an ultrasound last week. Everything looked great.”

Tony shook his head, “I have a really bad feeling. I can’t explain it. But I do.”

You touched your chest, “You’re worried about me.”

“It’s not funny.”

“No you care, it’s sweet. It’s misplaced but it’s sweet. I’m totally fine. You can put that worrying into finding me a house though.”

Tony rolled his eyes this time, “I knew this was coming. That cramped little space is not going to work soon.”

———

Steve and Bucky came to get you at five. Bucky didn’t meet your eye as you left.

He sat in the back seat of the car on your way home and he went and sat in his room as soon as you got home.

“Did I fucking break him?” You whispered at Steve as soon as the two of you got into the kitchen.

Steve ran a hand through his hair, “No, he’s just...you threw him for a loop.”

You leaned against the counter, fisting your hands through your hair. “I can’t live like this, Steve. I can’t just not touch him. I can’t just ignore how he flinches every time I get close.”

Steve held out a hand, “Take a deep breath. If this was two years ago, he’d have gotten on a motorcycle and have been out of state in an hour. If this was the start of our relationship, he’d have reacted the same way. We dealt with it then, we’re dealing with it now. You have to let him come to you.”

You closed your eyes, leaning against the cabinet. He had to come to you. For everything, especially touching.

The rest of the night was spent in silence. Bucky didn’t even come out for dinner. You and Steve went to bed early.

You woke up a 1:58am. Steve was snoring beside you and the babies were doing gymnastics inside of you.

Your heart twisted, you wondered if Bucky would be sitting in the living room waiting for you. Probably not.

You stood up, your back twisting painfully. You couldn’t freaking wait for that massage.

You made it down the hall and saw a soft light on in the living room. Bucky was sitting there, on his phone. He didn’t even look up as you padded up behind him. He just said, “Have you seen the video of the raccoon with the cotton candy?”

You let out a laugh of surprise. “Yeah, I have. But let me see it again.”

Bucky was sitting in the green armchair. You came to sit in the corner of the couch, as close to him as you could get to peer over at the video.

Bucky let out a chuckle as the raccoon dipped the cotton candy in the water. You smiled warmly over at him.

“Have you the video where they give him a second piece,” you ask gently.

The look on Bucky’s face was too pure. Too excited. You ran your phone and immediately search for it.

Half an hour later, your sitting with a book in your lap and Bucky is scrolling through his phone. You shift uncomfortably and Bucky asks, “The babies?”

You quirked your eyebrow at the question.

Bucky didn’t talk about the babies. He went to the ultrasounds and sat quietly in the corner. When you complained about the kicking at night, he quickly changed the subject. When you talked about baby stuff with Steve, he left the room. It was almost as if your belly wasn’t getting bigger everyday.

“Yeah,” you shifted uncomfortably. “They’re really going at it tonight. And my back aches.”

Bucky smiled quietly at you, you were almost looking back down at your book when he asked, “Can I feel?”

You looked up in surprise. Especially after this morning, this was the last question you expected to hear.

“Yeah, of course,” you put your book down. “Will you give me your hand?”

Bucky gently reached out towards you, you took his hand, watching his face carefully before placing it where the babies were most active.

He jumped in surprise, “You weren’t joking. Wow.” But his hand stayed firmly on your belly as the babies continued to kick wildly.

You observed his face, his eyes were so full of wonder. Like they were when you told him you were pregnant. He even had a small smile on his face as he traced your belly, looking to feel more of the babies.

“Bucky, about this morning, I’m really sorry...”

His eyes snapped to yours, suddenly aware that your faces were only inches apart.

He quirked his head to the side, “No, no. I have something I wanted to say to you actually. I didn’t even go to bed, I just waited until you went to bed to come sit out here in case I missed you.”

His hand continued to stroke you belly as he went on, “I realized something today, after you touched my shoulder. I was surprised, but also, it didn’t scare me as much as I thought it would. I feel like I haven’t been fair to you, and I definitely overreached today, but mostly I wanted you to know, I really liked it when you touched me.”

Oh. Your eyes widened slightly at the admission.

“And,” he went on, “I got thinking about how this must feel for you and Steve. Like a long distance relationship where the other person is right in front of you. I don’t remember everything, but I know I loved you guys. I want to try. Everything, all of it. You and him and the babies. I want it.”

A tear made its way down your cheek, you weren’t even aware you were crying. “I want to kiss you so bad,” you admit. “Actually, I want to do a lot more than kiss you.”

He boyish smirk took over his face and he leaned forward to brush his lips against yours. You kept your hands at your side, even as he deeper the kiss, leaning you back slightly in your seat. This was his kiss, it would go how he wanted it to go. He broke the kiss to stand in front of you.

“Get up,” his voice had dropped an octave as he looked down at you with hooded eyes. You did as you were told, not sure where this was going.

He took your hand, you thought he was leading you to his room before he suddenly pushed you against the wall. Your gasp was interrupted by his mouth pressing hard down on yours. You pressed your hands hard into the wall as he kept kissing you. As his tongue entered your mouth, exploring ravenously.

The kiss broke suddenly for him to drag his lips down your skin to your neck. You let out a loud moan as his tongue traces up your neck towards your ear. “Oh my god,” you gasp, it had been a while and heat was pooling between your legs. You wanted him now and you wanted him fast.

“Touch me,” he growled in your ear.

You didn’t need to be told twice as you dragged a hand up his spine. He shivered. You wrapped your hands in his hair and he let out an audible moan.

His lips were back on your neck, sucking a mark. Your hips bucked under him and he tried to get closer to roll his hips against yours.

He couldn’t get close enough with your belly. And you needed more.

Suddenly your shirt was gone, leaving your top half completely exposed. His hands roamed your swollen breasts.

You gasped at the feeling, raking a hand down his back.

He tweaked a nipple, “Is this what you like, baby?”

You could only nod as his mouth took one of your nipples.

He tweaked the other one and your knees started to feel like jelly. “I didn’t hear you baby, do you like it when I play with your nipples?” He tweaked them both for emphasis.

“Y-yes,” you managed.

He pressed open mouth kisses up your neck back to your ear. His tongue flicked the inside of your ear and you almost came undone.

“Do you know what else I realized, baby?” His hands still cupped your breasts. You attempted to grind against his to get some friction but he was being patient. Agonizingly patient.

“What?” You finally gasped.

He licked that spot again, and said with his lips brushing your ear, “I really like it when you call me soldier. Especially when you’re bossing me around.”

He bit on your ear lobe and you couldn’t help but moan.

“Alright, soldier,” you pushed him away to tug at his shirt. “Stop teasing and get to work.”

His eyes gleamed.

He pulled back to take his shirt off and you pulled off your sleeping shorts, now fully naked in front of him. He looked down at you, a devilish smile on his face.

He started with your shoulder, pressing open mouth kisses down to your left breast. He took it in his mouth, expertly sucking. You pressed your hands against the wall to steady yourself.

He continued down your body, kissing down your belly. His hands rested on your hips as he fully lowered himself to the ground. You expected more teasing. Some tendernous.

Not for him to lift a leg over his shoulder. Definitely not for him to latch on to your clit, doing that little trick that he did. You almost screamed.

Heat was building fast. His hands cupped your ass. You needed more. You might have said it outloud.

A finger entered you and you jolted, grinding against his face. It curled inside of you and you swore. “Bucky, I—”

He didn’t stop. He added a second finger and attacked you with his mouth with even more ferocity. He was starving and this was his first meal.

And he was going to devour you.

You wrapped one hand through his hair, gasping for air. You were close. He just had to keep going with his fingers hitting that spot. Yes, just like that.

Bucky broke away, his eyes dark as he looked up at you. “Let’s go wake Steve up.”

You were so fucking close. Oh my god. But he didn’t give you an option, gripping your hand and dragging you down the hall.

He opened the bedroom, leading you in. Steve was still out cold, but Bucky picked you up with ease and tossed you down beside him. He started taking his pants off and you started slapping Steve’s shoulder.

“Huh?” Steve opened an eye. He saw you naked and seemed to perk up a bit. “Hello.”

“Hi,” Bucky’s deep voice surprised him. “You wanna play?”

Steve was up in an instant, “I’ll get the lube.”

You smirked up at Bucky, who was stroking himself as he stared you down.

“Get on the bed, soldier,” you demanded.

He didn’t need to be asked twice, he crawled on top of you. He dragged a his lip up between your breasts until he was kissing you fevourously again. You expertly wrapped your legs around him and flipped him over so you were on top.

You took hold of him, stroking him hard, how you knew he liked it. His head rolled back as he moaned. You guided him to your entrance and sank down on him fully. He gasped, reaching for your hips.

You groaned, grinding down on him, “If you think this feels good, just wait till Steve joins in, soldier.” As you said it, Steve’s hands roamed up your body, coming to cup your breasts.

He breathed in your ear, “You ready for me, baby?”

You nodded, leaning forward to grasp Bucky’s shoulder as Steve lined himself up with your entrance. Suddenly they were both thrusting into you. Bucky could barely breathe, grasping the sheets from the insane pleasure.

You, were already close. You could barely move, except to enjoy the feeling of both of them inside of you. Finally.

You were ready to explode. Your hands grasped Bucky’s shoulders as he thrust into you at an erratic pace.

Steve leaned forward to cup your breasts and whispered, “Cum baby.”

You screamed as you felt your walls release. You saw black for a moment and as your started to come down, Bucky came inside of you. He leaned back, panting heavily but Steve wasn’t done. He kept pounding into you. You came again before he finished.

You finally felt Steve pulled out and you rolled beside Bucky. “Oh my god.”

Bucky gaped, “I was missing out on that.”

Steve plopped down beside you and burst out laughing. You started laughing too. And soon enough so was Bucky. It was contagious. You couldn’t help out. Soon you were gasping for air but every time you nearly stopped, it started again.

The laughter died down after a while. You started to yawn and Bucky timidly asked if he could stay the night. You told him of course, got up to pee, and laid down between them.

Finally, your family was starting to feel complete. Bucky wasn’t back to being himself, but things were staring to look up.

You dozed off but just as quickly Bucky was shaking you awake. You blinked thought your exhaustion. Steve was no where in sight.

“What?” You rasped.

Bucky wouldn’t meet your eye as he said, “We have to go. Steve’s getting the car.”

“What?”

“Everything is going to be okay, y/n,” his voice broke. He started to lead you out of bed. You gasped, your belly contracting painfully. “You’re bleeding. We’re gonna go get you check out.”

You could barely breathe. Not as he gently dressed you. Not with each time your belly contracted painfully again. Not as you looked back and your pristinely white sheets to see them smeared with bright red blood.

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